Recognizing the Need For A Divorce

Don't Fall For These Myths About Child Custody

12 January 2019

Jackson Robinson

Pursuing a custody agreement for your child post-divorce can be emotionally challenging and time-consuming. The process is often made worse by false myths that are spread about child custody and custody cases. Don't let these myths stress you out or push you towards a less-favorable arrangement for your child.

1. If you were the one who asked for a divorce, you may not be given custody.

This myth exists in a few forms. You may have heard that if you were the one who walked out on the marriage, you won't be given custody, or you will have to fight harder for custody. This is not the case. In the eyes of the law, the person who first asked for the divorce and the other party are equal. You both remain custodial parents unless another arrangement is made -- your actions as far as divorce do not automatically terminate your rights.

2. There's no sense fighting for custody if you are a male.

Years ago, courts would generally award custody to the mother of the child by default. However, attitudes regarding gender have changed drastically in recent years, and in most states, the courts now formulate custody agreements without bias towards either gender. If you have a reason to pursue full custody of your child, don't let the fact that you are male stop you. 

3. You don't get custody if the other parent earns more.

Although the courts do want to make sure the finances are in place to provide for the child, they won't fail to award custody to a parent who earns less. Instead, an arrangement may be made for the non-custodial parent to pay child support to the other custodial parent. If you are the lower-earned in the relationship, you should still fight for custody -- and expect to be granted child support if you're awarded custody.

4. Your child can decide who to live with.

The judge may ask your child who they would prefer to live with, but this is just one piece of evidence they will use in deciding how to place custody. There is no age at which custody is decided by the child. Rather, if your child is unhappy with the custody arrangement, you can later petition the court to change the arrangement -- but none of this is automatic or based solely on the child's needs.

Custody agreements can be very nuanced and confusing. Talk to a custody attorney to learn more.

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